Present for Jess

Old post, just updating.

Cons are way better in Japan

And I bet they don't have to stare at stupid fat round-eyes dressed up in stupid fat outfits all day. No more cons until I go to one in Japan.

JULSGETA GO

HAVE A GGOD

HAPY FIRSTDAY JULS

I traced myself

HI POS

HI

EGG MONSTER HEROS

HOW WILL THE DS FLIP OUT NEXT

I'm so sorry POS.

Nobody is poasting. It's all my fault.

I've been busy too, POS.

But mostly because I've been playing with Ben. And Jess. They have puppies. But I have a few tricks up my sleeve, so don't yell at me.

I Am Alive

I have returned from my journey across America to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, where I fought grizzly bears and befriended a magical talking Elk named Bob. We stayed up all night talking in the forest about who we liked. Later we played Truth or Dare and gave each other manicures.

Here are some things I saw while on the road:

• Tons of Harley dealers
• Tons and tons of porno superstores, mostly in Missouri. You honestly can't spit in that place without hitting a barrel of porn. (Note to self: Never fucking to to Missouri. Ever.)
• For example, also while in Missouri, several college-aged girls kept trying to flash us from their hotel window. While it was closed. While they were drunk. We would have stayed at the hotel, but they were all out of rooms. I imagine they were having some big softball girl orgy and we weren't invited.
• We ate at a pizza shop called "Gumby's." It was decorated with Gumby odds and ends. The pizza was pretty good. They called it a 'damn 2-topping.'
• A freaking haunted mansion in Jackson Hole. I had to sleep there by myself the first night I arrived.
• A restaurant called "Chubby's"
• Lots of txt msgs from Annie (*swoon*)
• A statue of Abraham Lincoln's head atop a giant pillar of stone overlooking a snowy mountain overpass. He sang to me a sweet rendition of Michael Jackson's "Thriller" while I took a piss at the rest stop behind him.
• A three-legged dog. He was missing a hind leg, so whenever he walked he had to arch and heave his back to get his other leg moving. It looked like he was constantly trying to hump something.

Also, I got a new hat.

EDIT: Also, I just remembered that I saw a dog with one of those cone-things around his head. He was the saddest dog I ever saw.

OhMyShhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiii--

Heyyyyyyyy, POS. It's been a really long time for me, too. And I apologize because it's not like I haven't thought about you or stopped seeing you or any of those horribly neglectful things. It's just.. I haven't touched you in so long and I'm afraid I don't remember quite how you liked it.. but I'm trying. The point is, I'm reaching out and I'm trying. I've been busy with life and the ways of the world. These are things you know and understand. I'm growing up now, POS, and I think that we can grow together. Listen baby, I have news: We have a place to live! Leslie and I are moving into our very own house at the end of this month and I couldn't be happier about it - we sign the lease tonight, in fact!

::piddles a little::

Yes, I'm that excited. And yes, I'll post up pics as soon as I can. Hell, my landlord may even become a business partner in a venture that's sure to make us rich. It's outlandish, POS, and I know that. But a fellow has dreams and vision and I want you to be an equal part of it all. Big things are happening for everyone on every front it seems, and I can't wait for the rest of the ride.

A review of Psychonauts.

:: smile noise ::

best ken burns documentary ever not by ken burns

www.negrospaceprogram.com

A review of Animal Crossing

::psychonauts::

Help me POS-Kenobi

You're my only hope.

Here's the deal: I'm officially not supposed to use IM (read: iChat) at the office anymore, citing security concerns. Unofficially I can use it, since they haven'y blocked the ports (like idiots). Still, I'd rather not have a transcript of my recent conversations thrown on my desk, so I'm staying off it for a while.

So, what to do?

There is an alternative: Jabber. I know DreamHost (POS's server) offers a built-in Jabber server for each domain name.

That's good.

However, I'd need to connect to a secure (SSL) Jabber server to be peachy-keen with the MIB here. I don't think POS is set up with a secure server.

That's bad.

I know those SSL certificates cost money, but I'd be willing to pitch in if we can get some more people in on this (in short: if you'd want to talk to me via some form of instant messaging software while I'm at work - it'd pretty much have to be Jabber).

Or, there is another option: make our own. I know Ben's got some networking experience getting flash apps to talk to each other. I figure, this might be a pretty simple stopgap solution. We'd have to implement some form of encryption, since I don't want the conversations going across the 'net in plain text, but it probably wouldn't be hard to come up with our own scheme.

So...comments?

ANIMAL CROSSILOGUE: DAY ONE

After my craft crashed on the outskirts of the enemy village I used my holographic camoflauge to disguise myself as one of the inhabitants. Though they possess some measure of intelligence, they're still petty and small-minded, absorbed with local affairs of little import. I quickly established a base and launched a covert operation against the turtle mayor to seize power. His strength was greater than anticipated, necessitating a strategic withdrawal. I've since been digging up robots from the ground to use in future assaults on the mayor, and extorting money from the indigenous flora. While gathering money, one of the trees shot bees at my face. One eye is now swollen shut. I can't wait to see this village set aflame.

Oh Wait

I know what Juls is thinking:

Or Maybe...

Happy Free Comic Day!

Jack and Ben! Check your mail! Annie = Awesome.

Pictures. I'll post pics of me in panda suit soon.

Project Meet: Redux

I am about to meet Annie at the Baltimore Inner Harbor where we will go to the National Aquarium. I will try not to laugh at things like the Sperm Whale, the Blowfish, or the Bukkake Eel. Or if I do, she'll probably start laughing with me, since we have the same sense of humor as a two-year-old. *swoon*

Feliz siete de Mayo!

PROJECT MEET: REDUX
E N D G A M E

Project Meet: Redux was a total unadulterated success. Annie and I had a blast. First we ate at the Cheesecake Factory, which at first I couldn't find, so I called Annie to see if she knew where it was, but it turned out I was standing in front of it at the whole time. We did not eat cheesecake, if that's what you're thinking. Please. That's like third date material right there. Anyway, she gave me my keychain (green) and I gave her stuff from Dudehole, Wyoming (notepad with a terrible joke on it, candy).

After fooding we stood in line for 20 minutes to get tickets to the Aquarium. There was guy holding a baby girl in front of us. She was trying to consume his gold necklace of the Virgin Mary. It was adorable.

Inside we saw a freaking giant sea turtle with 3 legs (or fins, or dicks, or whatever you call them). We speculated how he lost his fin. The best we could come up with was a knife fight (or, as I just thought of right now, maybe that little baby girl ate it).

Sadly, there were no sperm whales, or blowfishes, or bukkake eels. They had this one exhibit that was like looking through a whale's eyes. It turns out they can't see directly in front of them, which instantly made me furious and hate all whales everywhere.

We also saw some puffins. They were adorable to the point where I nearly threw up all over Annie.

Speaking of throwing up: anemones. Seriously, those things look like boobs that are throwing up.

Other stuff happened, but it was either not noteworthy or I forgot. Most of the time I went around calling everything 'Doggy!' and making terrible comments about children.

So, all in all: Yay, Annie! Boo Delaware not being 5 minutes away right now.

EDIT: I forgot about the dolphin show. Annie and I laughed the whole way through it, not because it was bad (dolphins = frigging sweet), but because the temptation for awful jokes was overpowering. At one point they called the volunteers from the audience 'dolphinteers', which I modified to 'dolphiqueers' (you probably had to be there).

Later we learned how to tell the boy dolphins from the girl dolphins and saw a dolphin give birth on the TV screen. Annie was grossed out, since she was expecting something not gross, I guess (it looked like a dolphin pooping out a smaller dolphin, only in the water).

Also, we named the turtle stumpy.

Update:

For all to see.

Party.

This is our fourth Cinco de Mayo in a row.

NOCAR

Next Year, Momday

I'm taking Grandma to Hooters.

Count on it.

Gabe was right.

Final Fantasy Mystic Questactics PSP is going to be the best game ever.

I am still keeping track of my spams

April 2005 has been an utter, utter disappointment. Just when I thought things were ramping up for a good month, I get bupkis. Look, I've gone and made a graph all over the place:

Total Volume of Spam Mails (Jan 1 - April 30, 2005): 1,760.

Datuuuuu:

Quick survey:

What resolution are you running at?

Dear Diary,

Today I sneezed a bunch. Then I burped.

Love,

    Alex

Kaiju Illustration Battle

One artist draws a monster on the left, the other draws a monster on the right.

KAIJUUUUU

QUICKSURVEY2

Do you like flowers?

If so, what is your favorite?

If not, why don't you like flowers?

Swoon attack! 25 hit combo!

Manga head

"Why is Japan so coooool?"

Tard-Blog

Tard-Blog is the touching weblog of a Special Ed teacher. It's ten-times funner than POS (probably because the content is derived from actual retards, instead of people pretending to be retarded).

This is my favorite anecdote so far.

Mystic Genesis Harvestcross

After gaining the gba/gamecube link cable, we were able to build naval units. I promptly went with them to conquer a nearby island. On the way we sang the vib ribbon soundtrack and spoke of issues of manly import.

Our cannons made quick work of the primitive inhabitants. The soldiers had some fun making the villagers beg for their lives, as did I when I waded through the craters to plant my personal Mayor's flag in a pile of their bones.

All will obey the Mayor.

Things To Do:

1) Get to the Orphanage level in Splinter Cell

2) Go back to Viewtiful Joe.

Speaking of Splinter Cell

I interrogated my favoritest person in the entire game (so far) last night. I grabbed him, and he starts going off on Ninjas and how cool it was that he was about to be murdered by a Ninja. He also claimed to be a worker on the oil-rig from a previous Splinter Cell game (yay, continuity!).

Quote: "Cool! *ghnk* A real live ninja! *hggk* If you're going to *khrk* kill me *hng* kill me with your *ghak* blow-pipe!"

I couldn't oblige with that request, as I lacked a blow-pipe, so instead I delivered my own brand of murder via my knife to his spine.

I've also got to learn to stop choking bitches when I mean to stab them. I really appreciate this Splinter Cell's ability to murder victims that you've got in a headlock, rather than having to knock them out, pull out your pistol, aim at their head, and waste a bullet. That is, if you push the right button.

Jackday

I'm tired of waiting to see what's going on. So we'll discuss it here. What are the plans for Jackday?

We need to know a few things: location, duration, and transportation.

First, location. Any ideas?

Second, how long is this junk going to be? More specifically, when is this junk going on? I guess that depends on the location due to sleeping arrangements. Are we partying at Benpad? My place (we're currently deciding a sweet name for my place, juls' apartment is way too many syllables)? I don't mind my place, but it's tiny. Ben has all the toys, but that's more ess that Jack can break and never replace.

Lastly, who's driving? I'm assuming that since I'm the only one with a car, y'all can be Ms. Daisy. But I must admit, that blows.

In other news, when you coming down, Mike? We'll be seeing the new Will Ferrel movie. You should come.

And what the hell can we call my apartment? It can't have "juls" in it. It's gotta be something cool, like the "batcave." Or "Balitimore."

An update on Ben

Ben has been really busy, right now he's pacing around his apartment and talking to Jess. See? Very busy. Jess is reading stuff about starting her business, and I'm in a type-type mood. I don't know why, but I'm going to type. Hopefully you're reading it. Usually when people type more than three lines in POS I skip over it and try to figure it out by reading people's comments.

Anyways, Ben hasn't had a console for a couple of weeks at work. He finally gets an XBOX devkit, but you can't play retail games on them. Ben makes video games but he can't play them. Though "playing video games all day" is a false representation of those who make video games, even if it were true, Ben couldn't do it. On the other hand, I just got spinners for my Escalade in Dubs.

Also, Ben dropped his burrito, and he was pretty pissed. And tomorrow we're going to Tijuana Flat's. It's out sweet Friday hang out with dudes from work for lunch party. It's a nice escape. And then, there's Jacktwinday. It'll be awesome. Then Ben will be happy again. Holy eff it was funny when he was pissed.

Also, a note to any POSers who may be coming to Ghengipad Station this weekend: please be super nice to my kitties. With the volume of people, they'll get very wrestless. That is all.

Oh, Sweet

I just noticed that today is Friday the 13th.

QUICK SURVEY3

GUESS WHERE I AM?

READY GO

2 things:

1) Annie and I have procured an iSight. So, iSight party tonight? (I'll maybe give Ben a call a little later).

2) Comment spammers are back. I've blacklisted the word 'casino'

3) Also, I'm using a laptop that's sitting on top of another laptop. Yeah, I'm fucking bling, slut.

HOT PHP ON PHP ACTION

OMG NEW ON INTERNET FROM PARIS PHONE

AV Chat Party 2

CHECK OUT THESE GUNS

UNNH

I want to go on a trip.

Can somebody please take care of my kittens while I'm away? It will only be for a week or so.

europe is awesome

This Is From A Real European Tour Bus

It advises not to wear one's visor backwards whilst urinating.

Captain's Blog, Stardate 43258.5

I've uploaded more pictures of my cat.

3 fast, 3 furious...

i dunno about this new console/controller design for the pee ess three...

click me!

why boomerang controller & slot loading console? why?

WARNING

EPISODE III SPOILERS INSIDE

More VG News

We all know about the XBox 360 by now, so eff that ess. Let's talk about Revolution, or the GameBoy Micro for that matter.

I'm going to need a second job to pay for all these systems. I'll be next to the dumpster out back giving hand-jobs for $10. Tell your friends and family.

Hahahahaha

Alex left his POS profile logged in on my computer.

Kevin Hale

is coming to Ghengipad Station.

QUICKSURVEY9

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD?

Oops...

Apparently, there was a problem with BlackBook. You couldn't add a member to your own book (since the link took you to a page that didn't exsist), but that's fixed now. So yay for that I suppose, if you're into that kind of thing.

QUICKSUERVY CHAMPIONSHIP EDITION

BRAVY. DONGLE. HAT. WHAT IS THE TIMES NEWPOPE? PLEASE WITH 500 WORDS LESS, OR MAKE THEM EVENLY DIVISIBLE BY 11. 9/11, THAT IS.

I don't want to be homeless

So with all this goings on with Wyoming, I could very well be homeless in the next four to eight weeks. I'd have two options at that point: stay with my brother (who also lives in Gaithersburg) or stay with my Aunt (who lives in southern Baltimore county). My Aunt's got a pretty sweet back yard, but my brother has internet. So, I dunno what to do.

I put a contract on a pad last night, but I have no idea if I'll win it or not. Buying a house is, apparently, a lot like eBay, only you have no idea what other people are saying they'll bid. My realtor seems to know what he's doing, so maybe I'll get it.

If I don't get it, then I guess I'll have to pack up all my belongings in a handkercheif and tie it to a stick. There's a rail yard not too far from my office. I could hang out down there for a while, maybe get to know some other hobos. I'd imagine we'd discuss things like what we'd eat if we could afford anything in the world. We would, of course, discuss this over a dinner consisting of a boiled leather boot and the contents of an unlabeled can of vegetables.

Then one of us would succumb to black lung and die. We'd have a hobo-style funeral, which I guess would involve burying the ashes in an old leather boot. Then we'd discuss the good times and get into an argument over who got to eat the leather boot.

Guess what, POS!?!

I'm going on vacation!! To Boston!!

POS Episode 3 Reviews

What did you think?

Guess Who's Not Homeless

Me, you bitches.

Photos of future alexpad are pending. In the meantime, let's name this shit.

Annie and I Talk about Weiners

Annie: OH! OH!

Annie: I saw the most adorable long-haired dachshund after my film class today.

Alex: Awwwwwww

Annie: I want one.

Annie: Now.

Alex: *throws one at you*

Annie: It was so pretty.

Alex: They're really cute.

Annie: So effing adorable.

Annie: And this one was particularly beautiful.

Annie: And soft.

Alex: Awww, you got to pet it?

Annie: I pet it for, like, five minutes.

Annie: The woman was so nice about it.

Alex: JEALOUSY

Annie: The puppy just waddled up to me and was all like "PET ME!"

Annie: So I did.

Alex: What a great story.

Alex: It's going on POS.

For Alex

Hugging Pillow

Future AlexPad

Nobody is posting anything, so here are pictures of my upcoming pad. I probably won't be in it until after June 10. Further details are on your opsat.

These pics are off the realtor's website, so they're not all that spiffy. Still, it's better than nothing.

Outside. My unit is right behind the fucking tree, all the way at the top and on the left. You can barely see my living/dining room window. Also, being in the top unit means I get a skylight (fuck yes).

I'm not sure why I uploaded this image, but it's too late now. It's a beautiful shot of the stairs I'll be climbing every day. See all that grass? Guess who doesn't have to mow it.

Kitchen. Simple, yet effective. I think it has a ceiling fan, but I could be wrong. I know there's one in the unit somewhere. It comes with the fridge, so fuck yes to that.

Eating area/living room. That counter you see on the far right is the kitchen counter. The sky light is above this area. Also, I have a little patio thing where I can grow my weed flowers. Also, it looks like the thermostat is on the wall there, which means I guess I have central A/C? You can also see part of the freaking loft at the upper-right corner.

Stairs to the aforemntioned freaking loft. Oh, and there's the ceiling fan. Woo. I have no idea what I'll put up there. My parents thought I was an idiot for suggesting that I drag the sofa and TV up there (I think it would make a totally sweet gaming/TV area, god dammit).

That's my back door at the top there. Those garages don't belong to me, I'm not sure who gets those. I'll have to park my car out back like an animal.

So that's it for now. I know you're jealous.

Happy Star Wars Day!

Yeah, that's a life-sized Chewbacca statue made completely out of Legos.

Just one more reason why the Toys 'R' Us store in Times Square freaking rules.

PANDA DOOOOOOOOOO

IS IT A DOG OR IS IT A PANDA OR A DOG YOU BE THE JUDGE WITH PANDOG

The guy across the hall from me is really weird

He's been standing in his office (standing, as in not sitting down) licking the tray of his microwaveable dinner for the last 5 minutes. Why he doesn't do it sitting down is beyond me, standing seems so barbaric. He's also doing it quite audibly.

Once before I caught him licking the box that his dinner came in.

MAKE A SUPER-IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT

"The National Confectioners Association's annual All Candy Expo will be held

June 14-16, in Chicago, at the McCormick Center. The show features all

sorts of confection creations including specific holiday candies for

Halloween, Christmas, Hanukkah etc., as well as new trends, novelty, limited

edition chocolates and candies."

(Thank you, Danny.)

The DS beckons

This is an image of a demo for DSpeak, giving DS users the ability to use VOIP over the wifi in their DS. Wario moves his mouth to what the other person is saying.

Add this to Nintendogz, Trauma DS, and perhaps even Animal Crossing DS, and I may be sold on this thing.

Weekend Update

• The hot babeasaur at EAville im'd me. She so digs me. On Monday I'm going to ask her if her boyfriend will mind that I take her out to dinner. Well, I will if I can gather the courage to mutter something other than "booooobs" because I am so astounded by her beauty. She likes the Cure like I do.
• I found a dancing babe downtown. We will be gyrating in unison tonight.
• Benjesspad is now The Hotel Burbank. Or Narnia. I suggested Syracuse, which Ben responded to by saying "bullshit" in sign language (Kevin taught us). They leave a light on for me here at the Hotel Burbank. I like the chenille throw.
• How bout that pregger-bot from episode three?
• Happy Birthday, Chris! We are dicks, indeed.
• Julsday is the day Batman comes out, I think we're going to Sea World.
• After Ben bought four more minimates today (Witchblade, Kabuki, and two other chicks), he said that he's not going to buy anymore. He also said he doesn't want an Xbox 360. Both of which are lies.
• Andy's girlfriend from work is making us macaroni and cheese for lunch next week. I called her to ensure that she doesn't eff us over.
• Jess is making brownies.

Have a wonderful day.

Success

I've got Annie totally hooked on WarioWare. It is only a matter of time before she's playing Metal Gear Solid and calling me Snake.

Ladies and Gentlemen of POS

I introduce to you... Mr. Hank McCoy.

Haha

I'm awake and you're not.

Bust Out Your Wanking (or Diddling) Gloves

Because May is National Masturbation Month, with the 28th being National Masturbation Day. So, you know, dust off all your pr0n and throw your crusty towels in the wash. And junk.

Turr Has Won

Because nobody posts to POS anymore.

I remember a time when Internets were filled with New Contests, posts about poop jokes, and Robot Tea Parties. Now, all that's left are broken dreams and a dead puppy.

Malkovich (and Goodman)

So, I was walking down the street to get a cup of coffee, and I see some commotion over by the Rainbo Club, so I walk on the other side of the street. I pass this dude who looks like John Malkovich, and I'm like, "that wasn't John Malkovich," but then I see that they are filming a movie, so I'm like "Holy crap that was John Malkovich." So I get my cup of coffee, sit for a while, and then walk back. On my way home I use the same route, and I see someone walk across the street and come in front of me. Its John Goodman.

John Goodman is really tall.

HFS! New Contest!

I checked out an apartment at Damen and Augusta (two blocks south of where I am now) and tonight I'm looking at one on Evergreen in Wicker Park tonight (four blocks or so north of Chicagopad [RIP]). Project: Willpad commences. I will have a place confirmed by the end of the week and details will be many.

With the prospect of a new Willpad, I am asking POS for a NEW CONTEST: Name Willpad.

p.s. - HFS = "holy fucking shit"

Ruh-roh.

Hi, bitches.

Today's Geography Lesson

This just in...

Hotel Rwanda has just went on the offensive by sending an airplane the size of Greenland over to Hotel Burbank. Hotel Burbank's Ghengipanese Allies have sent reinforcements. On the eastern front, half of the land of Maxipad has just sunk below sea level, apparently its that time of the season. And the nation of Mel ate some tofu.

Can't We All Just Get Along

I propose a new world order. Revolution is at hand!

Oh, I'm sorry

I forgot for a second that I wasn't allowed to not do poop and dick jokes. My apologies. Here, let me make up for it.

NEW POSWORLD MAP

Because Empress Annie says so.

What's the deal?

Ben, I've had this computer sitting in my room for like a million years. Remember the one I got for you for $35? It's still here. Can I send it to you? Can I poop in it? Can I, can I, can I????

I can't wait to get an STD

I mean, everyone of these commercials has the guy swimming, rock climbing, boating.

I never get to do that now.

double yoo tee eff

jeff wong is 21 today.

... how did that happen?

... also:

An Important Public Service Announcement

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have an important issue I would like to discuss with all of you: the Fourth of July.

We all know it as that special time of year where we celebrate a great day in America's history, a time to be with family and friends, and a time to watch stuff explode in the air.

Except for me. You see, not only will my friends and family be scattered across the continental United States, I will have moved into a new place and be all on my own. Terribly, terribly alone. I imagine I'll be curled up in the foetal position, crying and trying to convince myself that the fireworks exploding outside are really fireworks and not monsters or gangsters trying to break into my condo and steal my stuff.

That is why I propose the following: PARTY AT HOTEL RWANDA ON JULY 4 WEEKEND. Seriously, July 4 is on a Monday. That means a 3-day weekend. 4 days if you take Tuesday off. That's like a 2 for 4 deal! Plus, you'll get to check out my sweet digs (if I've unpacked by then), and see me I guess. also, I'm trying to get Annie to come down, so it'll be like Project Meet 3 or something.

So, how bout it? If you jerks don't want to that's fine. I'll just go to New York and bang visit Annie for 3 days.

Eff you, Delaware.

I'm totally back in Brooklyn now. Holla.

Anyways, on the way back to my glorious borough with my mother and a car full of my stuff, we drove past a guy on the NJ Turnpike with the hairiest arms and back ever. Think Chewbacca, but only from the neck-down and wearing a tanktop. His car windows were open, and he seemed to be enjoying the feel of the wind rush through his fur.

Mom: Ew! That's so nasty. Although, he does seem to be very proud of it.

Me: He must take his Second Amendment right very seriously.

Mom: [stares at me blankly] What's the Second Amendment again?

Me: The right to bear arms.

It's good to be home.

An Open Letter To The Person Who's Decided To Run Their Vacuum Cleaner 10 Feet From My Office Door For The Last Hour

FUCKING STOP! YOU'RE DRIVING ME UP A GODDAMN WALL!

Thank you.

♥ Alex

Until it's time to go home...

Here's some entertainment:

JCB Music Video*

*Special cameo by Optimus Prime et al

4th of July Firework Preview

Weekend update Draft 1,036

Wish you were here. (sweating your ass off)

• Alex is having a July 4th bash... why the eff doesn't he come down here?
• I'm Luke, I'm 5, Ben's dad is Jay Z (aka, Nizlopi owns)
• Panda Fish day is tomorrow
• My name is Juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
• Stop copying my weekend updates
• Ben's gay for video games, he buys more games than I (insert asian stereotype)
• Jess spits out her food (thus explaining why it's called a fajita "explosion") when I tell the waitress, "we've decided that you have a nice ass"
• That dooh at Chili's said, "Yeah, he's pretty cool, I guess." Even Jess effin made fun of me for that.
• Ben made of of this Asian dude at the mall, not realizing he was the top boss man at EA... Ben's got balls the size of Madden
• Jack is the uncontested mayor of Moonmantown
• Mike is politely waiting for me to post NOOOD pics of "the Julss," that's how I knew it was Mike.
• I promised the Dreaded Ghost Pirates of Burbtel egg rolls, but I need egg roll wrappers
• If I'm lucky, I'll be gyrating once again with dancing babe tonight
• Ho9oly hell it's only 11:30. ... .

[edit] Addendum: I found an Oriental Store, better yet, a Philippine Mart. There was a teenager who had to watch Philippine Satellite TV all day. He didn't know wha the hell they were saying.

My cats are watching tennis on TV.

Posted by juls at 11:32 am EDT | Comments (3)

CL is awesome

I got rid of the futon in 42 minutes this morning, someone is picking it up tomorrow. And, being bored (the TV is gone from Chicagopad) I was reading the "best of" and found this gem: Nice Christian Boy looking for sweetheart - m4w - 25 . Funniest. Shit. Ever.

Chicagopad death in 40 hours and 50 minutes.

Bad things that happen on birthdays.

Alex: "Black Monday"-Dow Jones down 508.32, 4 times previous record

Annie: Rumor that the Brooklyn Bridge is going to collapse caused a stampede that kills 12

Ben: Antonin Scalia appointed to the Supreme Court

Chris: Methane gas explosion in Secunda coal mine South-Africa, kills 50

Eric: Jim Bakker marries Tammy Faye

Jack: Sammy Davis, Jr. entertainer: died on this day

Jess: Sultan Saladin captures Jerusalem from the Crusaders

Juls: "Dick Tracy" with Warren Beatty premiers

Mel: Rock group Wings disbands

Mike: Hurricane Camille strikes U.S. Gulf Coast kills 255

Will: New York Yankees purchase Babe Ruth from Red Sox for $125,000

It's a sign.

After a successful Panda Fish Day celebration... though the sea lion/otter show took the cake... one of our favorite parts (especially B's) was the sting ray tank. I then came across this screenshot from the new Mario DS. They're trying to tell us something.

*Courtesy of 1up.com-- duh

CB Radio Cell Phone Attachment

I swear I've told somebody before that I want one of these. I didn't know they actually existed.

Now all then need to come up with is the bluetooth glove phone.

In non-cell phone news... has anyone heard of this guy Duracell? He hooked up a synth to his drum kit.

Chicagopad Final Post (ever)

Maxipad and the Grand Duchy of Cheslie are now in full effect. Chris and I are (almost) done cleaning the place and after this post, I'm taking the router offline. There is no more Chicagopad.

Death to Chicagopad!

Long live Maxipad (actually I'm only there for 3 months)!

Long live the Grand Duchy of Chreslie!

Stuff I've Found While Packing

(3) Tube(s) of Chapstick

(1) Giant fucking Buck Knife

(1) Daisy-brand BB Gun (it looks like a big glock) (it also doesn't shoot BBs, but I use the CO₂ that it shoots out to move my mouse across my desk)

(many) Old, old, old pictures of me. Some from high-school (when I had a beard and frighteningly bad hair), and some from elementary school (when I was adorable)

(1) Christmas card that Melanie sent me in response to the one I sent her (thank you for that, by the way)

(1) Holy Bible

(1 hojillion) Pens/pencils/magic markers

(many) Old comic books. Would anyone be interested in a buttload of Ninja Highschoool or G.I. Joe Special Forces?

more to come as I continue to unpack...