Velocity Equals Position Over Time

Here is a draft of a duder who I want to throw into the DPS machine. CAN HE RUN JUMNP AND CLIMBP HIS WAY TO VICTOREY?

I just woke up from a damn cool dream. In this amazing fantasy world, Marvel and DC were doing this totally sweet cross-over with all the major players, except the alter egos and the super heroes were all switched (for instance, Peter Parker was Superman, Bruce Wayne was Mr. Fantastic). It was a beautiful story. They were making a movie of it, too, and they got all the best actors to reprise their roles.

Nevermind about Syberia, it was in my car. No soder for anybody.

My disc one for 'Syberia' has gone missing. If any leb-o-mans see it, I'll buy theys a soder. It's probably at home.

Yesterday I was at the EB place, and they had this:

Some of you probably know of my affection for all things Simulatory, and the quirkier the Simage the more I desire it. Just look at SimGolf, one of my favorites. I would devise such beautiful torture courses and I remember something about alligators. OK, don't look at SimGolf.

In the end, though, it all comes back to Harvest Moon, that being the first Sim game that I wasted large portions of my life on (unlike in SimCity where I would just let it run and gain mad moneysss). The latest one is called 'Harvest Moon: A Wonderful Life,' and it's apparently the first great game in the series since HM64. Some even blaspheme and call it better than the SNES version.

Although:

Also, I installed Unreal Tournament 2004 last night and played it for 15 minutes in between work times. It runs at about 60fps with everything cranked, and it is gorgeous.

College is dead. Sorry, College. You were alive for so long.

needs a manifesto. I do cartoons, not manifestos. But I still think Clan 4ghat needs one.

Look at how freaking like me that guy looks. ZOD. I look like ZOD.

Your day's about to get better. Treasure's doing a sequel to Guardian Heroes on the GBA.

"Treasure revealed new info on Guardian Heroes Advance for GameBoy Advance, the game is not a remake or port of the Saturn version, instead it is a successor of the game with original content and new characters. Guardian Heroes Advance is scheduled to release in Japan on September 16"

Jess Pic

Me, Seanius, and Ben went to the Commons. I bought them food with my meals because I dyed my hair purple. Then I spilled the tea onto BenMan. I thought I was doing good. But let's hear their reactions:

"You totally made FTP (eFfin Tea Pants) pants." -Ben
"Ben's pants needed feeding." -Jack
"Juls is the Tea Pants Pied Piper" -Sean
"Fucking transfer your fucking tea pants" -Sean
"Ben's pants won, they're like the coach, they get poured on by tea."
"haha I'm gay." -will

I just made up which names go with which quotes. I also just made up the quotes. Sorry Ben.

Finals are coming.
I looked in my wallet
and it was full of blood.
These are truly the last days.

things i did today...

• vacuumed my car
• cleaned windows and wiper blades of aforementioned automobile
• applied rain-x to front and rear windshields
• utlized my as-seen-on-tv steamer and cleaned the grill and bathroom
• purchased a barebones, discount dvd player for $30 for someone in deland because they don't have one... regardless of the fact i seldomly speak to her.
• ate lots of pork
• got, gettin', getting, going, am rather tipsy
• downloaded DMX mp3s
• finally sated my longstanding passion for unordered lists
• totally sported mad wood from making an unordered list
• wailed a sweet tune on my axe
• participated.

things to do...

• vanish into shadow...
• save a puppy.
• look at the aforementioned puppy i "saved"

... boo-yah.

i return to floridia in 2 weeks... i need a hug.

So my senior paper is due tomorrow and not in fact next week so tonight just got awesomer. I got flocking working, though, and that's pretty sweet.

Alex called me a 4ghat earlier today, and I think that Clan 4ghat is teh winnar.

Ben's been playing with this new game engine he bought. I've been trying to get him to make a giant tree that shoots race cars, but he's too much of a n00b to get his shit together. I'd show him how, but I'm busy with my presidential campaign. My slogan:

If you vote for me, who will not?

(in no particular order):

1. Socks Glue
2. Their adorable take on the English language
3. USB noodle cookers
4. Japanese robots can dance
5. Japanese trains each have their own theme song
6. Video game music composers can become mega-rock stars that perform video game music
7. Japanderers
8. Niwano niwaniwa niwa niwatoriwa niwakani wanio tabeta^*
9. Tanuki
10. Capsule hotels

I was looking for pictures of submarines on google, and I found some of naked dudes doing each other up the dudehole. Vote for Jack.

In my stupor last night, I became terribly dangerous when Juls, my last pillar of human contact, disappeared. So much so that while browsing amazon, I came across this at a price well below the current going rate, and immediately spray'd teh cashes everywhere.

I also picked this up as a secret surprise present surprise for Juls, so don't tell him.

And now, a proposal:

We are several in number, and we need 'our' game. I propose this one, as it appears that while it contains a total all-out shoot party similar to Quake III Rocket Arena, it also contains a ton of features that made Tribes a stellar online experience. Plus, unlike in Tribes or Quake III, the game comes with several interesting modes of play right out of the box. Also, you can drive crap around and probably act very, very ratarded. Basically, as much as I hate to say it, Unreal Tournament 2004 seems like the perfect game for us to party in.

As a totally sweet bonus, the DVD Special Edition that I picked up also comes with a (gasp) sweet bonus DVD that contains several human earth days worth of tutorials for using the editor and the scripting language, something that fits perfect with the next part of my plan.

We will start an Unreal Tournament 2004 clan, or similar clergy, where we will do totally amazing things online and hopefully release some sweet mods. Anybody who wants to help should. It's a way to continue the DA spirit that is fading from the world, and it's also a way for all of us to get some experience rocking some very interesting computer tools. For instance, what if we were to make a mod where people were supposed to enact scenes similar to those found in Red vs. Blue? Not a problem. UT2K4 supports demo recording and full voice support right out of the box. Duck Pond Simulator should make a decent practice project for anybody who wants some (what).

Some clan names:

XDA
POS
F8G

Starting tomnorrow (the day after voting takes place) I will be running for SGA president of SGA Stetson. This afternoon the gears of my campaign machine shall a'grind.

So last night I dreamt that, though we had all arrived safely to the wedding, I had left my jeans on under my tux and nobody was happy about it. Also, I had forgotten to get Jess a present, and I couldn't bear to tell her while she was wearing the funny girly white wedding hat thing (the one that looks like a stack of papers that almost everybody wears), so I had my dad go to the airport book store in a particularly Saved By The Bell moment.

While we were waiting outside for somebody to stop talking I heard jazz piano coming from the woods, so I went in and saw a black woman teaching a young child to play Willow Weep for Me, one-handed. Just so you know, that is an Art Tatum song, and it is without question the most difficult sounding song that I've ever heard, a fact that is compounded when it is noted that Art Tatum was blind, and poor. After watching the lady play for a while, I returned to where everybody had been, except they weren't there. I went to the old football stadium but they weren't there either. So I sat in the bleachers and wept.

I think my computer is trapped in some kind of time-variable matrix. Strange things have been happening to my system clock. The other day, the alarm went off 20 minutes late. I tried to re-synchronize it with a time server, but the day after it was 20 minutes fast. That was the worst its been off, though. It's usually ± 10 minutes off. I tried to get Geordi to help me fix it, but he punched me in the face and told me to stfme. So, I guess I'm stuck with it for now.

This is post 0001 0000 0000, which is a lot of posts until you cast it to a base 10 value. I read this on gamedev today, and it hit me the same way that an angry woman might:

Hi,

VladR
Avenger 3D game (Last update FEB-04)

note, he is from Slovakia.

I opened up my wallet and it was full of blood.

asl?

From: 
Matt Roberts

To: 
,

Subject: 
picnic project

Date: 
Mon, 19 Apr 2004 18:09:53 -0400

Hey

I am taking a stab in the dark and guessing one or both of you have
something to do with the fort over the picnic table made from the remnants
of Royall's project.

I took it down as I do not think it best represents our talents in the DA
department, also it calls attention to our program in a way that is not
beneficial to us.

Please reframe from building these things, or build them document it and
take it down.

if it wasn't one of you please inform the person responsible that I would
appreciate it if they did not build forts out of old DA projects.

matt

I found a sick rat tonight. I tried to take care of him, but he died.

So last night I used the remaining wreckage of Will Royal's acclaimed Video Art Piece, Elizabeth's Revenge, to build a Video Art Digital Installation DVD of my own on top of the picnic table beside Flagler. This afternoon I came back to find my installation gone and a note in the senior leb:

So I left him a note of my own (the awesome black line is courtesy of our malfunctioning scanner).

There. Made it. This post is mine to fill with something incredible, but for now I'm leaving you with this fleshy teaser.

Can I get a what what for Alphaman, the first game that I played that gave me a true sense of a vast and endless gaming universe?

It looked like this:

Those of you that admire this sort of relic as a delicious and rare morsel will note that it falls into the genre known as Rougelike (an apt name for games that were similar to the game Rogue).

The thing I remember most about the game is becoming more powerful by eating Beef-O-Roni. I also remember lazers and mutations.

The way it came up was that Crazy Jason came and visited me, and in a rather interesting moment he continually bombarded me with 'do you remember when?'s. I'll post some of those later, but when he brought up the glory, the days spent playing Alphaman, the magnificent, magnificent feeling of accomplishment and open-ended role playing, I nearly wept for my past returned. FFXXHUNGRYI does not come close to Alphaman. Nothing I can think of does, although Final Fantasy Legend 2 [editor's note: yes, Ben knows that this was actually SaGa 2] for the Gameboy comes close with its fantastic meat system.

As evidence of the endurance piece that is my final year at Stetson, I have developed a mild twitch in my left eye. It has been going on and off since Friday. Also, I've got quite an ache in my right wrist from using the mouse too much (I now look forward to typing, as mousing things is similar to undergoing a fine brand of Monkey Torture).

Ahem. Do you want the pellet? Use the mouse to get it. Here's some electricity. Use the mouse some more. Oh look, more electricity. Just to mix it up, here's a pellet. An electricity pellet.

I left my wallet at home, so today I'm also a huge beardy bum. Let's hear it for Monday. Actually, let's look at it through my hazy left eye.

This is entry 247. Here's some sprite stuff that I did this afternoon (I did the heart a long time ago).

As most of you know I've been growing angrier and angrier, as if Sunny Days and reading and Astronomy and Ice Cream have been turning me into some sort of crazy Ben Hulk.

For whatever reason, I think I'm getting better, however.

I turned on some classic Death Cab just now and about three chords in the nightmare was lifted.

Also, Juls just took the one-eyed eagle puppet and wiped it all over neostream. That was really strange.

Juls walks into the senior leb, and I'm in there. Then he sees my new one-eyed eagle puppet and picks it up, laughing. Then he screamed and dropped it, because my jar of cicada shells was inside it. The he left.

So the other day Jack and I were at EB and I found a copy of Planescae: Torment in the used section, a puzzling and titty-wetting discovery. I said this:

"How did this happen, Jack? WHAT MADE THIS HAPPEN?"

and Jack said this:

"Prayers."

and I said this:

"Yes... but who?"

Maybe you had to be there.

WARNING: SPOILERS

Ladys and gentlemens, I am here on behalf of the Mr. ben Burbank, who is approaching his retirement and wants to end with the game of all time. His one last project, this will be the legacy of all who end and begin in this industry, a summation. Utilizing 3d graphics and the digital sound of the upcoming secret console, the CDI. As a lifelong dream of his among the design crew that has been dreamed of for always, but now we have the power of the CDI to bring our vision to reality. Here, look at my suitcase, it's full of titties.

The game will be a digital interactive adaptation of the famous Will Smith moviebook from the 60's, I Robot. A startling social commentary on shotguns and black dudes shooting windows and I Robots crawling on stuff and hitting stuff, the game's basis will be in the moviebook as revenge for when Isaac asimov, the white-haired old fuck stole will smith's great idea from him and tried to steal all the credit by fleeing into Ultima 3, but Sosaria's been taken over by Exodus ALREADY, so everyone is an I Robot and you have to fight Isacc Asimov in time until Ultima 7, the finest CDI and digital technology invented yet. Now, you must all think happy thoughts.
(I fly away on jet streams of hot boob sauce from my hot sauce boob implants).

JUST LOOK AT HOW FUCKING COLLEGE THAT GUY LOOKS.

FUCKING COLLEGE.

COLLEGE.

So tonight hasn't been all that sweet. Here's a bunch of things that I didn't do, but I bragged to various people that I did:

• Ride up ons my RolZ up into the lab
• Shoot off some champaignes
• Shoot off some guns
• Drink some titties
• Ride up ons some drugs
• Drink up ons some guns
• Drive up ons some whore bikes

I basically did a bunch of work, like, all goddamn day. However, tonight I noticed that I had downloaded the Mojib-Ribbon soundtrack, the latest game from the guy who made Vib-Ribbon and Parappa the Rappa. I don't want to go into the terrible idea that was Mojib-Ribbon (it's terrible because you can't play it outside of Japan), but I will go into the wonderful idea that is the soundtrack. For those of you who don't, like, suck at music, this is something like 30 fresh tracks from Laugh and Peace. It's a wonderful cacophony of japanese computer voice telling us to, like, buy McDonald's or something sweet like that, or Kodak. Or butt bead cereal.

Speaking of butt bead cereal, Jack mentioned something that has yet to cease baffling me in my old age. Some (or perhaps most) of the university hasn't gotten much farther than 2nd or maybe 3rd grade arts and crafts level of workmanship as far as physical artistry is concerned. Well, one group of them chose to advertise their ever creative Tropical Festival (wow! [sic]) with
what appeard to be a stack of brown rocks, or potentially giant butt-bead clusters. At the top of the undoubtedly stinking pile is what appears to be green eneregy explosions. I think it's supposed to be a pile of titties, and the thing at the top is a RolZ.

Also, Jack has a jar of dead bugs and they're all clumped on one side and I don't like it but I'm afraid to move it, because, you know.

Apparently, Sony's got some kind of wacky new 25 GB media disc that's, get this, 51% paper. Like the kind of paper that computers were supposed to replace. Here's where I read about it from. It has a link to a Sony page that's all in Japanese, so it could actually be all made up for all I know.

Still, it's a pretty fucking cool idea.

How can a day that started so good end up making me unbelievably angry in just under 3 hours? I have no clue, to be honest. It's a party in my head and I need to find a way to calm down, right now.

I have terrible news. Somebody awful is using the name 'Donkey Punch Productions.' I found out about him because he posted to the gamedev.net forums, inquiring if anybody wanted to make sprites for his forthcoming 'urban' side-scroller.

Covered in puke bits.

"I'm at the beach."

It's been a while since I spewed forth a FFGGHHII travel-journey-mbook, so here comes one. As an aside that is completely unrelated to the following mbook, I spent some time playing as a white mage little man, whom I placed in another city which I will call 'the better of the three cities' in the game. I didn't take many pictures because I'm waiting until I can get Jeebusman to this palatial heaven-world, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

About a week ago (in fact, 8 days ago according to the euler hyper clock) I teamed up with some dudes to do a mission that I kept calling 'money quest.' Well, I travelled with this one dude, he was one of the big guys, and I kept calling him 'Circus Man' as he looked like the kind of guy who would be wont to circus around. At one point I went and sat down next to a waterfall, declaring myself the king of sitting, and then he came up and sat beside me.

When the quest was over, I loudly proclaimed that we should 'bring on the whores' though we were in fact in the middle of some barren wasteland and the moneys we received were substantially less than the moneys one would expect a whore-party to cost.

Later on, when I finally made it back to town, I kept seeing big guys lumbering toward me and music would play, but it was never my Circus Man. I would pretend, sometimes, but the new faux-Circus Man never got the joke.

So last night I decided that it was finally time for me to venture forth into the world and seek the castles of 'the better of the three cities,' despite my pathetically low level and my lack of a travelling party. This was mostly due to my having to stay up the whole night through, though I would have played in the daytime, too. I walked for a long time. I saw this place.

and this place. By this point I was completely impressed with the awe-inspiring breadth of this world.

and then I ended up in the death marsh, or whatever the hell it was called, because I thought it would be a great shortcut to the happy village. What it was, in fact, was a death marsh. I did have a map of this place, which made my life a little better, except for the fact that it was a map of a death marsh that I was trying to cross. It was full of gigantic and terrible things. In the end, it was a group of goblins who made clothing of my torn and beaten body, mostly because they had spells that ended my life swiftly. I almost made it to a spot on my map called 'outpost,' though it probably wouldn't have done me much good at that point as I was poisoned something terrible. There was this one monster with like a million legs and eyes and it kind of octopussed around and Jack really loved how they looked. I don't have any pictures of them as my journey through the death marsh was dominated by fear and loneliness. At one point, it seemed like a good idea to hide out in a region on my map labelled 'rot marsh,' and I ended up reconsidering when I realized that I would be the one doing the rotties.

This last one is a cute picture of me in the somewhere place at night time. At least the little part of me that is Jeebusman gets some sleep. Lucky bastard.

So I walked into the DM to check on B!'s thesis and my thesis to see if they're running. They were, so I decided to relax a little and watch the fruits of our slaving. While walking around my piece I noticed a pedastal set up at the entrance of the gallery. Sitting on it was a tray that has Jack's sophomore thesis.

Rather than it sitting on the table to the side where the other artists had placed their postcards, the DM peeps decided that it was worthy of its own space in the gallery.

I just thought it was pretty sweet, and had to share that with everyone. Some documentation should be up when I'm done slacking, as well as pics of B! as a slovenly monster.

So itss like 5:30, and me and ben are coming up with some fucking sweet ideas. Like This purse that Amy papadeas could invent, and it wouald have a badger as the purse body and some butt beads going from the mouth to the butt mouth as the shoulder strap. And then I had this great idea for a spell in my mmorpg, where you summon a video window that plays Song of the South (Disney's classic magical black people movie), and 1the movie shoots lasers at anything that comes close. Ben said it was a terrible idea, but I said he just wasn't ready for my game design yet.

Will's site-specific has now been torn down and is in pieces outside flagler. I took a mangled mass of wood back inside and put it next to the senior leb's door, and put a flyer on it for catholic mass.

For those of you unfamiliar with it, the site timecube.com is one of the most profound scientific ultimatums of any age.Much like my science, it proves that everything you believe is wrong. Consider these words, culled from its broth of wisdom:

"Your father was a fish.  You evolved
from an egg laid in water, fertilized by
a sperm fish swimming upstream -
just as salmon swim up stream to
fertilize female egg laid in the water.
Maybe, you should worship a fish god."

It is also an unflinchingly truthful science, unafraid to speak the truth:

"Time Cube is above academic comprehension.
Universities equate doomed Towers of Babble.
Time Cube debate will expose academic scams,
so academia must "ignore" debate at all costs.
Students denied the right to debate Time Cube.
Educators are evil to deny Time Cube debate.
Academic ignoring of Time Cube equates evil.
Word worship educators beget stupid students.
Students are brainwashed and do not know it.
Students are taught to be stupid and don't care.
Word is the most effective tool of enslavement.
Stupid students believe any crap they're taught.
Stupid students unable to evaluate Time Cube.
Students ignore Time Cube, attack messenger."

I want to have timecube's babies.

Situationist International (google it) was revealed to me by cstiles a whole long time ago, and ever since its ideals have been popping up left and or right.

Anyways, its about damn time we wrote a manifesto, and POS is the perfect outlet. In fact, I think POS in itself is a manifesto. Either way, I rather be writing here than do the essay due in an hour.

Also, Heidi's grandmother makes dolls. Like, she makes the plastic molds, paints the skin and the eyes, and then dresses them up. I walked into the grandmother's house on Easter and what sounded like a "holy fuck" slipped out, followed by a sharp elbow to the midsection from Heidi, and my bumbling self trying to cover for my slip. That part didn't really happen, but it might have been cool. So the doll just stared at me. It was the scariest thing ever. I thought that Heidi's grandmother and Jack should collaborate, but then I was like, "wait, why the hell would I want them to make the scariest fucking thing in the whole wide world so jack can fuck with my head and think its funny to have the scary as fuck doll play patty-cake with juls while i piddle on myself and all i wanted to do was play some xbox?" but jack won't stop and he just laughs and goes 'how now, asia man?' and ben's all like, 'they don't got dolls over in pino land, pino man?' I'm scared.

http://www.nationalhighfiveday.com/

w00t

Here's the fake seniors.

These are the real seniors.

It is clear that this site is slowing down. Of course, this is due to Juls and I finishing off college while Jack is trying to finish off his sophomore thesis, which appears to be 'scare Ben with some amazing ballerina toy monster who says come and stay a while in the most beautiful voice.'

Personally, I've been programming like crazy. I'm going to make the most amazing GBA game of all... except not so much the most amazing as as just slightly better than Barbie Horse Adventure (except in graphics, where BHA will stomp my project). I've spent the past couple days porting my work from C to C++, which most of you will interpret as "blah blah blah something about shiny maybe." I've also been spending a little time in FFXFRATHOUSEPARTYI, and it has been made clear to me that I should have been a white mage all along. It's good to be nice to people, so they say, and it's also good to not be nice to people. For instance "help cure me please" can easily be interpreted literally, or figuratively. In the figurative, "help cure me please" translates to "cast cure on yourself a bunch of times even though you're at full health and that other guy is totally being killed by that monster man." I also bound the following macro:

ctrl-4 "/shout nreeeeooowwwwwwwwwww"

and I use it whenever I run past people so that they can feel my massive doppler effect.

The long and the short of it is, enjoy your easter feasts (I'm having jelly beans, I think, since I haven't seen anybody in my house in a while and there's no food except jelly beans) and know that this site will be kicking out the jams with much more fervor once the eternal summer is unpon the butt-bead children.

Dear Excel Janitorial Supplies,
I recently attempted to use a product of yours called “Cling,” and was sorely disappointed by the dearth of lies and false hopes slathered across the bottle. On the front it clearly reads:
“DANGER: Causes burns.”
However, when I applied a liberal amount to my arms, I experienced no actual burning. After leaving it on overnight I was only left with some gussy reddened skin and slight itching. This is NOT burning. The lies on your bottle have left me irked and begruntled, and I suggest you adopt a more honest business acumen if you hope to remain afloat in today’s janitorial market.

Irked and begruntled,
Jack Fields

Another weekend, another day to talk about something that I saw on penny-arcade. I'm going to do it in American Advertiserman Circa 1990 Voice. Here goes. Ahem.

DO YOU REMEMBER RROOTAGE THAT TOTALLY FUN GAME THAT WAS FUN ALL THE TIME? IT WAS A SMASH HIT AND THIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S FROM THE SAME GUY WOW WOW WOW. AMAZING. SHOOT THE SPACE TYCOONS TO SAVE THE PLANET FROM THE EVIL DOCTOR TERRIBLE OR ELSE YOU'LL NEVER BE SAFE TO RIDE YOUR BYCICLE... AGAIN... FOREVER! SO REMEMBER, RROOTAGE WAS TOTALLY AWESOME AND SO IS TOTALLY SWEET TUMIKI FIGHTERS EVEN IF IT IS A JAPAN GAME.

I'm done with that now. Here's the linkies:

rRootage (an older game now, Alex showed it to me many moons past)
Tumiki Fighters

Note: this guy also releases his source code for his games, and Tumiki Fighters was written using the programming language 'D,' which I'm going to look into since it's at least 6 years old now and it's probably not as crappy as C/C++.

So I had to go to the museum today and turn our stuff on (I didn't know how to turn Dave's on, but it was still on, which was good, I guess). Next to Juls' installation was an out-of-package glove, and by glove I mean hat, and by hat I mean condom. Grey suit lady was like "what is this do you know what this is disgusting" and I'm like "that's a condom."

Also, I hope Jack gathered up his installation from the senior show on Thursday because it wasn't there today.

I'm gonna' go find some rabbits and kill them. I need a new pair of pants.

It's starting to really itch now. Almost burning, but not quite.

I just had another idea for an experiment to further establish my science's supremacy.There's this bottle of industrial cleaner in the bathroom with a warning on the front that it causes burns. So I smeared some on my arm, to see if it works. I'm starting to feel a slight tingling, but it's taking too long, so I'm going to smear on some more. It smells nice.

*leaves for a couple minutes*

I've smeared on some more and read more of the bottle. It apparently contains phosphoric acid. There's also a warning not to smell the vapors, which I find find puzzling, because it smells nice. Kind of like Sprite.

Subject: 
Question from eBay Member: 3DO Game Star Control II

Date: 
Fri, 9 Apr 2004 22:17:08 -0700

Dear stonerrbc,

hay stare control man, i have a business quistion for u. i took
apart this egg beater thi2ng today, u know its the kind that u plug
in and it tUrns on and the egg thinyg spins all around like that,
yeah like that, and there when i opened it up ther ewere all these
scary l;arava looking things inside, larva that looked real dark and
had stick things on the sides, and were real hard and crunched
easily, and u can't get them offf no mattyre how hrrd U tgry , and
now 1 beater doesn't wiorlk the question is

Another groundbreaking experiment today.

I was about to crush the plastic toy horses off of an electric carousel for a school project. In need of a decent crushingman, my eyes settled on a nearby aerosol can of sealant.

"I have a great idea," I thought.

So I'm happily hammering away at the horses with my new crushingman, when a hole gets punctured in the side and it starts spraying sealant everywhere, not unlike a monster out of a toy horse-crusher's worst nightmare. After a second of terrified confusion, I acted; still out of terrified confusion, so I threw it down the hall, where it sprayed sealant all over the music professor's office door. Then I ran over and threw it out of the building, and our half of the basement smelled like sealant for an hour.

When the ordeal was over, I spotted a can of spray paint in my suitcase. I briefly thought it would be good to crush the horses with it, and then I stood silent, awestruck by the terrible force of human stupidity.

Don't want to miss out on a Friday post but I'm so tired and I have another thesis to do.

I had a great idea last night. They had matzo at late night, so I took a chunk and stuck it in my wallet. Every time I open up my wallet, a shower of unlevitated breadcrumbs pours out, and I am reminded of the suffering of my people one thousand years ago in 234 BC911 (a new historical term for chronology, meaning "because of 911").

Through a groundbreaking experiment, I learned that conditioner alone does not make your hair clean.

Matt Roberts is totally in love with Will Royal's thesis. It's probably because of Will's artisticism. As he said on in his Digital DVD Video Digital Interview Site Specific DVD, he's now leaning more towards the artistic side of things, as opposed to way back when he did more commercial stuff.

He has a plug on his DVD for his DVD. Twenty dollars.

Ben had some great omens before he went to school for his exhibition. He woke up with a nosebleed, and then threw up. Then he had a great food idea for the exhibition: a bowl of peanut butter next to a bowl full of Q-tips. I encouraged him to pursue this agenda, but he gussed out and got some bread or something gunty like that.

I modified and painted a bunch of Lego men to look like ben’s robot man. Then I made a Site Specific Installation.

Here it is all of you eager readers, a world pass onto the Seraph server. Start in the city slave-named 'Bastok' if you want to run with the hat crew. 4492386618. Enter this code during character creation and you'll be magically transported to my magic homepad. Keep in mind, however, that this pass expires in 167 hours or when it has been used 5 times, whichever comes first.

I'm off to earn some more moneys so I can buy all muh crew mates some sweet hatsores.

So, need any more illustrations done?

So, I think the results for this year's video competition were a little unfair. I mean, I knew I deserved first place, but third would have suited me just fine. However, even I was surprised when they gave me first, second, AND third place. I think the judges should have more carefully weighed their options. I mean, there are a LOT of video makers who are better than me, but there are just so few of them. Next time the judges think to give me all the awards, they should remember that there ARE a couple of talented people besides me.

hi teressda qit is me the not jack ijust stepped on my foot WOWIT REALLYHURST but really boss i mean once whats what to be you know the comics 9ois great this day its surprising so how the many competes i won with comicsmens today but not today actually in the FUTURE

"When we hit that building I thought we had killed all the bad guys, but when we went in they didn't find any bad guys in the building," Col Byrne said.

The US defence secretary, Donald Rumsfeld, said that Gen Abizaid will get more troops if he requests them. "At the present time, they've announced no change in their plans, but they could make such a request at any time," he said.

"They will decide what they need, and they'll get what they need."

Senior Pentagon officials believe that the current situation in Iraq is a "test of wills" between US-led troops and resistance fighters, and insist that they will prevail.

At least I probably won't be drafted.

In other news, I'm about to finish off my DA-Art senior project and I couldn't be happier. What an interesting and winding road it has been? Yes. Wind spell. Cast Curaga to fix the broken Jeebusman, or weep at my passing. The blob was too much for his puny arms to wrassle. I'll maybe talk more later but it's really getting busy here at work.

I stole another something off of penny arcade's main page, for our reading audience who doesn't frequent the news posts. Below you will find images from a Japanese English class (an English class that is in Japan). The teacher handed out Penny-Arcade comics with the blurbs whited-out so that the students had to put in their own funny-stuffing.

One thing I noticed was that one of the students wrote in their native hand-writing up at the top of the strip. Note how barbaric the English letters appear nex to such refined beauty.

Ben modeled and animated his spider monster (based on my drill monster TM). He made it so it filled up the whole of his game level. Fucking freaky. He'll post about it soon. I have to finish painting this lego man before I go to sleep. Doing a sophomore thesis is hard. Karla's out there right now, sleeping. That's where I should be.

Ben's animating, Jack is painting SD's and a LEGO Ben's thesis, and I'm rendering.

While I was rendering I walked like a spider on all fours so Ben can see how his spider should walk.

Later we're going to Wal-mart to find Matt Word Up Roberts a birfday present.

I really just wanted to talk about me walking like a spider, but I thought it needed more, but I didn't. I'll stop now.

go here RIGHT NOW or I will have to eat you in your facE

1. I'd wish for a peg-leg so I could be just like a pirate. I wouldn't wish for an eye patch, though, cause I could just put my eye out myself.
2. Then I'd wish to be able to break-dance (with the peg-leg).
3. Lastly, I'd wish for Apple's Mail client to work properly, and not have to rebuild the mailbox every fifteen effing minutes.

So I was playing FFXMCMDLI-X-2-F this morning after I did a bunch of math homework, and I discovered a part of the interface that totally rocks: macros. Similar (in fact, identical) to key bindings in Quake 3, they allow you to set commands that you will use often. I deleted a few of the predefined ones in favor of these puppies, I bet you can figure out what they do:

ctrl-5 "/shout Who is the Honey King now, hornet man?"
ctrl-6 "/shout How appropriate, you fight like a cow!"
ctrl-7 "/shout Who wants to do hornet quest?"

there's another one which I will bring up in a moment. In transition, I got my first in-game response from somebody today, here's the dialog:

elait: "GOOD MORNING EVERYBODY"
shigikomo: "-_-"
jeebusman: "I AM THE HONEY KING AND THIS IS MY KINGDOM."
shigikomo: "good for u"
jeebusman: "No, it is good for ME for my kingdom is mighty."

a few seconds later I entered a store.

jeebusman: "Service me, store man. "
jeebusman: "I wish to sell all of hornet man's honey."

And then I sold a bunch of honey.

jeebusman: "Good work, store man."
jeebusman: "You're much better than those reds at the accessory shop."

I bought some sort of copper helmet or something.

jeebusman: "Who laughs now, hat man? I am the hat king!"

and then I walked around the city for a long time, showing off my hat to all the dudes who looked high level. I bound another macro to help in my new adventure.

ctrl-8 "/shout do you like my hat, strong man? I am the hat king!"

here's an example:

After all of my hat modelling, I decided to climb to the top of the town hall's steps, where a bunch of people had gathered for some reason that was probably stupid.

jeebusman: "who is the king of the sit men now, townspeople?"

jeebusman: "clearly, it is the hat king!!!!!"

and then I logged out.

We all need to make characters in FFHGSDHGSKJ. They'd all be those tiny dudes, and all we would do is pick a stranger to follow, surround, and stare at.

We need to start a pos Machinima clan in FFXCMLXIV. We could be totally famous if we acted out crap like episodes of Friends or something. I was quoting space ghost last night and some dude waved at me.

Here's another re-enactment of something I just did like 5 minutes ago.

wooooooooooooo.

Here is a picture of me ruling over my kingdom. I had to add in the text since the screenshot system doesn't capture the console.

i idn;t get to take my medicein toady so i can typyer dkreallu fast and good andf i put a bunch of packets of mayonaissre in the elevator to distract PUBLIC SAFETY WHILE I go ikn for my turn

I just bought the PC version of Final Fantasy XI, since my desire for a MMOMPORGY has been on the rise of late. I went PC since it has some advantages over the PS2 version: it's about $100 cheaper, I'll have a keyboard so I can type messed up crap to dudes, and it'll have better graphics. Anyway, it comes with a collectible online collector's card game online (Tetra Master) which is from some other game, and I'm probably going to MMOPOPORPGY that up like crazy vs. some online dudes. Anyway, everybody should get it now, so we can play it a bunch and start a totally sweet clansore.

I just saw a commercial for a product called Flonase and I thought they were saying Clone-aise, which sounds way sweeter. I wish I could spread clone-jelly on my toast and then barf up some clones or something. I think vegemite has this capability, you just need to recompile its kernel with the -KLO5% flag.

I HAVE A HUNGER FOR THIS THING.

I know it's, like, a month early for you, but I was really, really, really bored at work today so I made Ben a Congratulatory card for when he graduates. I dunno how long it's gonna' stick around in the internet, so you should just pretend that you've graduated before you look at it.

Also, if you're not Ben, you should pretend that you're Ben and that you're pretending that you've just graduated before you read it.

So Ben and I were in the kitchen, when his dad walks in with a 16-gauge shotgun slung over his shoulder. I had the feeling that this wasn't something anyone else was used to. Then he mentioned something about killing bunnies, and then we ate things that looked like potatos and were made from them, but were not potatoes.

I like food, don't get me wrong. But at the same time I also hate it. It's friggin' annoying. I hate "What am I gonna have for [breakfast/lunch/dinner] today?" I wish it were as simple as dog food. My dogs get a standard portion of nuggets twice a day and when they get it they're so happy they almost shit themselves. I wish people food were like that.

I'd love to buy a 30-lb pound bag of People Food from the grocery store and have that do me for a couple weeks. Sure, it'd be nice to mix it up every once in a while with some spaghetti or something (which also drives my dogs nuts). But goddamn, it would be so much easier to have People Food when you don't feel like bothering to make something, or have someone make something for you.

Seriously, I think this is something people are ready for. Who's with me?

This is what love looks like on a postcard:

I think this calls for a return to analog mailings. I've decided that physical mail is a lost art form. It's cliché to say that and then do nothing about it, but you can't beat getting a piece of love like this in the mail. Juls also sent us a bucketload of them. Although I would have liked for him to actually write something on them (:: shakes head disapprovingly ::) it's tough to beat some postal-processed paper items. So this is my call for everyone to abuse the postal service every now and then by sending oddly-stuffed envelopes and other mailable items to each other.

Our original intent had been to not post to the blog today as a ha ha joke, but I'm gonna' break open that boiling pot of laughter that our readers are sharing and then dump its contents onto the floor.

Google is going to offer free email accounts.

They are going to have up to 1GB of storage, so you will never have to delete another email ever, ever again.

You will be able to use google search to go through every single email you write or have written.

You could have an @google.com email address, go here to find out more.

This is absolutely not a joke. Here it is on CNN.

It seems like they're taking the model of what yahoo has been trying to do for years and improving upon it in every way. For instance, google isn't a piece of crap, while yahoo is.

omg.

While we're on the subject of teh ha ha has, here's google's april fools joke.