Velocity Equals Position Over Time

Chapter 3: Halloween Titties

CheckSpriteWithBGCollision(Sprite* sprite, u16* collisionTiles)
{
u16 collision = 0;

if(sprite.dy > 0)
collision |= CheckBottomCollision(&sprite, &collisionTiles);
else if(sprite.dy != 0)
collision |= CheckTopCollision(&sprite, &collisionTiles);

if(sprite.dx > 0)
collision |= CheckRightCollision(&sprite, &collisionTiles);
else if(sprite.dx != 0)
collision |= CheckLeftCollision(&sprite, &collisionTiles);

// this will check to see which kind of collision it was and alter the
// sprite's member variables appropriately. For instance, if it's a bottom
// collision, set dY = 0;
CollideSpriteWithBG(&sprite, collision);

}

CheckBottomCollision(Sprite* sprite, u16* collisionTiles)
{

}

I've been playing a DANG lot of CIty of Heroes this weekend, and I have to say, I absolutely love playing it.

First off, let me run down the characters I've made so far (there are screenshots of some of them in the extended entry):

1) SkeleThubot. You saw him in my first screenshot. Not the best planned hero, but I had to learn the basics with something. Overall, though, still totally awesome.

2) SkeleThuleus. A mind controller who is as tall and skinny as you can get. Was kinda' fun to play, and I'll resurrect the name at some point, but for now I deleted him.

3) SkeleThulu (in the extended entry). A small black and white robot with a heart on his chest. He wields a broadsword. His battle cry is "memememe. memememememe. mememe."

4) Oh No It's Jess (also in extended entry). My personal favorite character yet. SOrt of a cross between the Flash and Storm. Also very, very small compared to everybody else. Battlecry: "OH NO."

5) Senator Kerry. A giant, white haired, grey suited, mind controller / Healer. As SOON as he's high enough level I'm going to give him the Fly ability, so he can lord over the citizens.

That's pretty much it. Check out the screenshots for some funnawesomes.

Most of these are of SkeleThulu rocking the night away. As most of you know, I try to make the online experience as surreal as possible for all the other players. This time, I discovered how to do dance moves and use the boombox, so I would continually walk up to people and have a dance party until they started in on it. One of them danced out with me, but then they drew a sword so I followed suit.

I should also mention that it's perpetually night this weekend, as it's Halloween in the game, and the city is being attacked by zombies, witches, and pumpkin monsters.

this is from when I was fighting the giant pumpkin monster. It killed me like 4 times but then with the help of some others I smote that bitch.

Does anybody know if there's going to be a monster truck rally anywhere near the LA area in December? I think it would be awesome if we all could go to one after Ben and Jess get hitched.

This is the ultimate game post of all time. It will shortly be the first result for all searches on google, it is that ultimate.

Announcing MMORGYMON, the ultimage MMORPGY.

Seriously, this is easily the Best Game of E3s 2005-2099, when E3 will die. Despite all the hype, MMORGYMON will live up to goals previously unatainable in a video game worldpad.

Quick description: You choose your own destiny in a world overrun with tiny, tameable monsters. You can be a scientist, someone who captures rare creatures for study, or you can be a battler, someone who will collect the creatures and build up their stats to do battle with other battlers from rival nations. Battling with the tiny monsters has completely replaced war, or any other type of contest. You can play as a politician, leading a life to either destory the monsters or provide them safe haven. You can play as a traveller, keeping a small group of the monsters so that you can travel the world safely and see its many wonders. There are cities that are completely overrun with the monsters, who usually cluster together into larger monsters when trying to dominate a human settlement.

I'm seriously thinking about working on something like this, for the rest of my life until I am dead (I will die at E3 2099, as is written in the prophecy). I want to make a server that sends out the data, but I would also like to make clients for various platforms, such as mac and PC, and hopefully stripped down clients for flash and the NDS (if its network adapter is easy to hack).

I know that your pants have been blown off as a result of this post. I apoligize, and I guess that makes the preceding paragraphs NSFW.

...and also the floors of stetson university's halloween ball.

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blackstarr31/detail?.dir=6a3b&.dnm=9619.jpg

These guys sum up all that is good in this world.

P.S. http://www.ruthlessreviews.com/top10/10blackmetal.html

read the reviews, they are classic

Sorry to keep bothering the dudes about this, but have one of you guys (chris, eric, alex, etc.) reserved a room yet? One of us needs to rock that.

PC owners, Guild Wars has gone live in a 3-4 day world preview event. JOIN UP. I haven't tested it yet, but feel free to get the client and just start rocking it. The game streams almost all of its content (and it caches it on your drive once it's installed). The last preview event client was approximately 80kb. I have no idea how big this one is, but I do know that Guild Wars was pretty fun when I played it last May.

I think I'll grab it here at work.

Yearight.

Chapter One.

each o is 8 pixels (1 tile)

oooooooooo
oooxxooooo
oooxxooooo
oooooooooo
oooooooooo

tiles[50];
tilewidth = 10;
tileheight = 5;

sprite.left = 24;
sprite.top = 8;
sprite.size = 16;

int tileleft = sprite.left >> 3;
int tiletop = sprite.top >> 3;
int sprtilewidth = sprite.size >> 3;

int x, y;
u16 currentTile;

// this checks every tile inside the sprite (and only works if the sprite is in line
// with the tiles)
//
// TODO: make it only check the outside edges of the sprite, and then make it work
// regardless of the sprites tile location
for(y=0; y< sprtilewidth; y++)
{
for(x=0; x {
currentTile = tiles[x + y*tilewidth];
if(currentTile == NO_COLLISION)
{
return;
}
else
{
CollideSprite(&sprite, x, y);
}
}
}

So I ended up with a few Best Buy GGCs that were going to expire next month (it's been a year?!?!), and I needed to pick up something fun to play.

I immediately grabbed City of Heroes, despite my desire to play World of Warcraft in a month, mostly because I was drawn to it, as crayons are drawn to a fireplace. I also picked up GTA: San Andreas, despite my hatred for the dialog in the game, mostly because I intend to either sell it or return it in order to get some other, more worthy game in the weeks to come (like Metroid Prime 2). Either way, City of Heroes totally kicks the asses of every other online game I've ever seen.

Anyway, I'll talk more about City of Heores later, but here's a shot of my SkeleThubot, a character who has super speed and is as small as he could possibly be. Note his robot arm. ALso note how he speaks to the pitiful people of City Town.

This is pretty sweet. There's this article in Popular Science that details how to modify an ordinary BlueTooth adapter to increase its range to up to a mile. Eff yeah. Too bad it won't work with devices that have their bluetooth adapters built into them (like my laptop).

http://32hours7minutes.com/#
-about the real new york to l.a. race that so many movies have been based on.

http://www.primermovie.com/
-found the link to this one while looking up time travel. they have more details on popular sciences webpage www.popsci.com

Flash levels up and gets so sick and sexy that you'll probably have a hard time keeping your pants on due to the GINORMOUS PERMANENT BONARD you'll recieve as a present for watching this video off of Moock's site.

http://www.moock.org/blog/archives/000146.html

Just click one of those linkies off his page and bathe in the glow of alpha channeled video, realtime effects like drop shadow and color change on bitmaps, HUGE processor performance increases across the board, and yes I fucking said alpha video which you can layer ON TOP OF OTHER VIDEO OR OTHER DYNAMIC THINGS ++INSANE POINTS!!

So Alex and I know we want to share a hotel room for the wedding. We should probably get around to actually reserving one, and I want to share it with as many peeps as possible, on account of the cheapies. Chris, eric, you guys up for that? Or someone else?

i am wondering how good this show was, did anyone ever see it?

http://dsc.discovery.com/convergence/animalfaceoff/animalfaceoff.html

also, i wonder what other great animal battles are missing from their lists...i am reminded of a fable jack handy once wrote that mentioned a shark riding on an elephants back...

Ben wants me to write a play so he can make a comic out of it. I looked at the wallpaper he made for juls and wrote the beginning of one.

EXTERIOR, NIGHT
Oily twilight covers a barren land. The murky dark hides all, save the brilliant white lashes of rainfall that light the spots they strike, illuminating the world's contours like sudden flashes of memory. A globular mass slowly heaves itself into our vision, arms dragging its massive bulk through the fields of mud like servants driven by a ceaseless lash. Belly bulging, crimson eyes barely barely screaming their glow through the gloom, the tortured beast comes closer and closer to us until it lets out a piteous titan's groan and collapses into the oozing ground. The gloom fades after the creature's death, the rain retreats to another land, and a tentative grey settles over the world as a quiet wind whispers in the daytime. The body sits in the stillness until a sudden swarm of spider-like creatures descend from the sky on ropes of silk vomited from their mouths. They scuttle all over the corpse, vomiting out silk to form a twisted structure on its back that almost resembles a stage. The spiders, having done all they can, leave the body and tentatively gather in front of it, waiting to see what will come next.

Today I helped one of my friends film a music video (to Joe Episado's "You're the Best Around" from The Karate Kid soundtrack). I played the role of the nerd who gets beaten up a whole lot. We spent a good six-seven hours abusing my body: punching me, throwing me down, and tossing me repeatedly into a giant pile of garbage. It all came out pretty good, and I came out completely unharmed.

As I was leaving my friend's house after the shoot, I tripped on the front steps and sprained my ankle really bad. It hurt horribly right away, then almost instantly got better. Now it's back to hurting horribly and I feel like the biggest fag ever.

So, yeah, of course I'm going to put this whole story on the Internet.

Because Jess didn't get to see it, here's my apartment. First, the Julsroom:

*the next image has some hardcore hscroll.

Pumpkin rolls. Pumpkin bread, sweetened and rolled in cream cheese. It was too good to eat, which meant that when more was eaten it was war. War as mild as it is sweet.

haha bens snoring

I swear to god I'm the only living thing in my office building right now and it's creeping me the hell out. It's like I've unknowingly slipped into an alternate dimension, where waiting in the shadows of my co-workers' darkened offices lies unspeakable horror. I had to get up to take a tinkle a little while ago, and as I crept past the open doors of abandoned offices I could feel an icy hand clench over my bowels, sending waves of terror pulsing through my body.

Ben, I'm sorry. I stayed up all night last night watching scary movies and eating popcorn. I would have called your cell phone, but I was also shooting up some stuff last night, and, well, when I came to the next morning the fridge was gone. In its place was a monument of pure evil, constructed of bone and flesh, carved from the very pith of the human that summoned its creator.

I think I'm in big trouble, now...

Let's all go to Pee Pee Island!

I'm going there. Hopefully Mr. Freeze won't have gotten to her yet.

The werewolves, however, will undoubtedly remain.

By the way, Alex is in charge while I'm gone. I'll be back Sunday night.

NO PARTIES, IN BED BY 9, NO SCARY MOVIES.

My cell number is on the fridge if you need to call.

I don't remember a whole lot from my dream last night, but the following was pretty memorable:

I was standing in front of a large crowd, or maybe in the midst of a large crowd. I had somehow come across a microphone, so started to tell a joke. "I'm gonna build a spaceship out of records so I can rock all the way into outer space!!!" The crowd went nuts and it was awesome.

How to enable pipelining:

1. Type "about:config" in the adress field.
2. Set the value of network.http.pipelining to "true".
3. Set the value of network.http.pipelining.maxrequests to "100".
4. Set the value of network.http.proxy.pipelining to "true"
5. Right click -> New -> Integer named nglayout.initialpaint.delay. Set the value to "0"

And there you go, you've now enabled pipelining. This should speed up browsing by like 10x when connecting to an apache server (IIS doesn't support the feature, if I remember correctly).

I went to this place called Ziki tonight to celebrate somebody's birthday. Ziki's another Hibachi restaurant (Japanese staeakhouse like Bennihana or Saporro - where dinner is the show). Anyway, aside from the food being totally radical, and our chef making a heart out of the fried rice and making it 'beat' with his spatula, my mom got totally bombed on 2 glasses of wine.

First she begged my brother to get married and make babies. Then she begged me to go to Purdue to get a Ph.D. in computer science. Then she finally admitted I was her favorite son.

So, anyway, that was cool, and then the staff brought out the birthday surprise: a fucking flaming ice-cream ball soaked (and probably fried) in bourbon (I guess that's how they got it to burn). It was like this huge level 12 fireball (12d6, reflex save for half) sitting on a plate in front of me, and the only thing I was thinking was, "this is the awesomest dessert mankind has ever invented." I nearly threw up from excitement.

Actually, I'd been feeling like throwing up all night. Then again, I'd eaten so much sushi, miso soup, chicken, fried rice, and vegetables that even if I hadn't felt bad all day I certainly would have felt like spewing at that point regardless.

So, that was pretty much it. Lessons learned?

1. My mom's a cheap date
2. The Japanese have the fucking awesomest dessert on the face of the planet

I've decided to start my own web comic. Here is the first strip.

This one's called "The Power Is Out"

I pee
You pee
We all pee
For IP!

AHAHAHA I AM A POET AND DIDNT EVEN REALIZE IT I MAKE A RHYME WHENEVER I SAY SOMETHING BE COOL STAY IN COLLEGE WINNERS DONT DO DRUGS

OMG HE IS HIDDEN CHARACTAR ON INTERNETS.

I still want to clean it up.

link!

whoo! so, i gots internets, and to celebrate, i scored a copy of sims2 dvd pc edition for a lucky winner. even better, i totally ripped off the "not for resale" sticker the Madden peeps put on it, so it can totally be exchanged for something else.

anyways, here's the deal. i need a sweet desktop for my work computer since i can't check/post to POS while at work because of security issues.

it needs to be 32000x1200 pix (its dual screen). easy enough? is a week enough time? i've never done a contest before. winner gets sims2. ok, i'm done. make me a sweet desktop!! SFW, please.

I like many, many, many other people on the internet now have a complete copy of Half-Life2 on my hard drive courtesy of Steam.

All we need is the release date, and then the thing becaomes unlocked and we rock out to our heart's content.

I hear there's rumors on the Internets that point to a Nov. 15 release (a Monday), which would probably be fine, except I want it right goddamn now.

Oh, and here's what Gabe Newell drives to work:

UPDATE: Have you seen this thing? I know Chris saw it when I installed steam. It's beautiful. It's also named 'DOG' which gives Half-Life 2 extra points, since that's exactly what I would have named it were it an option.

The Smoking Gun has just uncovered the following letters from the desk of God Himself.

I can't believe it isn't time to go home yet. It's not like I've done a shit-ton of work today, but I feel like I've done enough. Plus it's friday and all I want to do is go home and not do anything.

Plus I told these dudes that I was all busy and junk and that I wouldn't get around to fixing their website till monday, and since I never take back anything I say (see: My Way of the Ninja, McClung et al.), I don't have much else to keep me occupied right now.

I should draw fighter planes on stuff and print it out and hide it around the office for people to find, or maybe to give to children since kids love free shit that isn't poisoned candy.

Oh wait, here comes more work to do. Yes!

So a few weeks ago, Jess had a birthday bash that ended up with all of us drunk to our tits at some pottery painting place. It was awesome. I had a huge choice to make. Tank? Or Poop Monster?

Since Alex's birthday was coming up, I decided on Poop Monster, mostly because it could feature a clever play on words for this very site. I made two of them, so we could be BF4E. What I did was, took 2 halloween ghosts, and paintied them all brown and stuff. They're wearing green hats, showing that they are celebrating St. Patrick's Day.

Begin Ultimate Present Attack!

Also, since Alex requested it, here is a picture of Wisconsin.

Please give me a Death Ray for my birthday. I really really want one. I don't especially want to kill anybody, but I think it would be really nice in case of an emergency. Plus, I like saying "death ray." Come on, it's totally sweet.

Stop being such a gussy and give me one already. I mean, look how pissed off Captain Kirk is.

I bet he'd be a lot happier if I had a Death Ray in my hands. If you don't give me one I swear to God I'm going to stop believing in you and your stupid kid. I'll even tell my friends to do the same, and I know people from like New York and stuff. You don't want to mess with those dudes. They'll break your knees and shit.

So, in conclusion: death ray me already. Come on.

Your friend,
    Alex

It's my favorite today. I can't stop thinking it.

My job is awesome.

I just wrote some stupid bloggy crap and deleted it. Instead I'll write a blog poem.

K.Ellllll th
e.
Mouuuuuuuu.
hooooooooo.
ouuuuuuuu.     gott.gott.gotta'
K=lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
teh moooooohhhhhh.

Prince of Persia 2 demo came out today. gank.

Mel: what if jesus got you pregnant?
Me: Then I'd have god's abortion.

Some dumb bitch has said that Bill O'Reilly sexually harassed her.

Bill said "I might have, if she ever made an effort to pretty herself up. How's a guy supposed to sexually harass a broad if she won't show a little leg?"

I think it is totally unfair that the high, upstanding, fair and balanced O'Reilly is accused of something like this. It might damage his spotless reputation.

O'Reilly defended his position by stating, "So I told her she needed to get laid. I said she should use a vibrator or that I could, well, you know, provide some service. I believe she would have been a lot happier if she had some dick." He followed by saying "Do you how hard it is to work with a bitch who isn't gettin it right at home?"

I DIDN'T WAIT I GRABBED A SNICKERS™

OMG SPOILARZ:

iGetShotInFace: are you at home getting Halo Deux yet?
AlexMcAwesome: no, idiot
AlexMcAwesome: I'm probably not gonna get out of the office till like 6
AlexMcAwesome: which is early, considering that I got in at 10:30
iGetShotInFace: well don't bother. All you do in this version is run away from the bad guys. You'r only weapon is a white flag.
iGetShotInFace: :: zing ::
AlexMcAwesome: AHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AlexMcAwesome: OMG
AlexMcAwesome: U SULD BE ARSENEO HALL
AlexMcAwesome: UR FUNNY
AlexMcAwesome: UR FUNNY
AlexMcAwesome: UR FUNNY
iGetShotInFace: YES AND ARNOLD SWARZENIGGER
AlexMcAwesome: SAY 'KHULIFURNIA'
iGetShotInFace: CALIFORNIA
AlexMcAwesome: AHAHAHAHA
iGetShotInFace: FUCK YES IM KING COMEDAY
AlexMcAwesome: YOU SHOOT COMEDY FROM YOUR COMEDY HOLE AT HI SPEED
iGetShotInFace: 5000 TIMES FASTER THAN DIALUP
AlexMcAwesome: THAT MAKES ME DIZZY
AlexMcAwesome: WHERE'S MY INSULIN
iGetShotInFace: UP UR BUTTT
iGetShotInFace: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHO
AlexMcAwesome: *HAS A SEISURE AND DIES*
iGetShotInFace: AHAHAHAHAHA
AlexMcAwesome: DEATH BY COMEDAY ULTIMATE FINISHING MOVE
iGetShotInFace: YES NOW YOU WILL BE THE ONE ESCAPING THE COMEDUY
iGetShotInFace: BEST MOVIE
AlexMcAwesome: VERSUS SUB-ZERO READY FIGHT
iGetShotInFace: seriously, though, Halo 2 is awesome
AlexMcAwesome: *KICK*
AlexMcAwesome: *PUNCH*
iGetShotInFace: *GET OVER HERE*
AlexMcAwesome: *UP, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP PUNCH*
iGetShotInFace: *DOWN LOW UPNCH **
iGetShotInFace: ULTIMATE HIAYTE
AlexMcAwesome: HADOOKEN?
iGetShotInFace: CROWD GOES BLOOWD
AlexMcAwesome: OMG CHUN-LEE TAKE UR SHURT OFF
AlexMcAwesome: LET ME B=====D U
iGetShotInFace: *SPINNING STAR KICK*
AlexMcAwesome: NO MOM STOP
iGetShotInFace: *ULTIMATE FAPTACK*

It's unexplainable, really. Watch as Carl Lewis (yes, the same Carl Lewis that captured Olympic gold for all of us here in This Great Nation some years ago) sings and weight-lifts his way into the heart (and pants) of a tubby 55-year-old woman wearing kooky over-sized sunglasses and blowing bubbles. It's legitimately one of the most bizarre and confounding things I've ever seen.

Feel free to browse around the rest of the site, where you can find some of Carl Lewis's other illustrious acting moments, including one in which he plays the part of a pimp and HUSTLES A DUDE FOR MONEY AND PUTS HIS "BITCH" IN HER PLACE.

Et tu, Carl?

You all probably know by now that the French version of Halo 2 was leaked last night.

I thought I had something funny to say about it but I don't, because I have work today.

Goddamnit, I tried.

I was looking for some ASCII art of ninjas for my signature at work when I found this.

              .---. .---.                             
             :     : o   :      SEE THIS MOUTH        
         _..-:   o :     :-.._    /  I CAN FIT AT     
     .-''  '  `---' `---' "   ``-.     LEAST TEN DICKS
   .'   "   '  "  .    "  . '  "  `.    IN HERE       
  :   '.---.,,.,...,.,.,.,..---.  ' ;                 
  `. " `.                     .' " .'                 
   `.  '`.                   .' ' .'                  
    `.    `-._           _.-' "  .'  .----.           
      `. "    '"--...--"'  . ' .'  .'  o   `.         
      .'`-._'    " .     " _.-'`. :       o  :        
jgs .'      ```--.....--'''    ' `:_ o       :        
  .'    "     '         "     "   ; `.;";";";'        
 ;         '       "       '     . ; .' ; ; ;         
;     '         '       '   "    .'      .-'          
'  "     "   '      "           "    _.-'             

I think I'm gonna go with this one, though:

     ________________________________                              
    /    o   oooo ooo oooo   o o o  /\                             
   /    oo  ooo  oo  oooo   o o o  / /                             
  /    _________________________  / /    SOMEBODY PLAY AXEL'S THEME
 / // / // /// // /// // /// / / / /                               
/___ //////////////////////////_/ /                                
\____\________________________\_\/ FC                              

Oh my God! Who said that watching television really really late at night never pays off!

This is for reals! And it really is on at like 1:40 in the morning! Holy Crap Best Show!

So now we get another team that can't fucking win (well, pre-season). Yeah Chicago!

It is so sad that the winner of the competition for the best theme was "Through Thick and Thin." So now we don't even get to watch good basketball.

Oh, but I might have some hope. But they really are their own worst enemy.

"LEGENDARY SPACECRAFT DESIGNER DR. MAXIME A. FAGET DIES AT 83"

Seems like people are dropping like flies these days. Dangerfield, Reeves, and now some Faget.

No more Christopher Reeves. Bye bye Superman.

Why didn't Superman save Lois Lane?

Because he was in a wheelchair. And dead.

You all must be slacking off. No post yet on Monday the 11th? What is wrong with you, POS community?

Anyway, I have an idea for a post: Help Will Find New Job. You all know me. What do other people think I should do to find a new job?

I considered handjobs on the corner for a nickle. Any other idears?

It's been such a slow weekend here on POS, what's happening here?

Anyway, I was rooting through some old floppy disks earlier, and I came across a few gems from my high school days.

These were from when I desperately wanted to be a 3d artist and make the next FFVII. Though, judging from the quality, I was really more cut out to be involved with the next Star Wars (zing!). Also, keep in mind this is before I knew anything about JPEG compression.

Anyway, enjoy (or not).

Behold the might of POV-Ray 3.1!

"Untitled"

"The Atrium"

"Infinity Box"

Every four years the american peoples gather at Julsland to celebrate Julsfest, which is some kind of sweet asianfest thing that his people invented. This year we started off with seanius, heidius, juls, and mel, who made everyone at the party be all like "HOLY SHITS LOOK HOW HOTS YOU IS IN YOUR NINJA TURTLES SHIRT." Early on I ran to get mel a present, but I tripped over one of her boots and got p0wned by it. I'm still limping around, and my foot's kind of starting to turn a light shade of blue. As the night went on more people started to show up, most of whom I would punch and call bitches while laughing. Especially Nina, this russian girl everyone says is hot. I punched her real good. There was also one point where I was curled up against mel, and she was stroking my back. I've never been so angry at our gussy scientists for not having invented time travel. Then I threw my cell phone at this girl's ass by accident, and it bounced off.

Dongle?

this contest is to see how many comments we can get in one post

i think the current record is like 25, let's shoot for 50!

...totally...

So I quit my job today. How fun!

No, really, I quit my fucking job today.

The DS Launch Line-up is pretty much confirmed at this point (further driving home the fact that Sony will not have PSPs for sale in one month), and there are some really impressive titles hitting. Aside from the obvious choices of Mario 64DS (plz) and the free version of Metroid Prime: Hunters (kthx), there are some easily over-looked soon-to-be-best-games.

for instance, there is Puppy Town Homepad, which includes realistic puppynatomy. The game was funded by the Bush Administration*.

And who could forget the loveable game Give Your Fake Ex-Girlfriend A Scorpion Virus In Rabbit World? This will easily be best game. This game was originally called "Project Rub" and it's being put out by Sonic Team. I'm sad that that sentence wasn't fake news.

*truth.

UPDATE:

Since Alex and Jack both released a collective wtf to the pictures from Scorpion Dating Party I decided to do some more research. I will be buying the Japanese version of this game now.

MORE UPDATE:

Alex asked for more "pubbies."

I've also added in some Wario Ware:

THRICE UPDATED:

Here's more Scorpion Rabbitpad Snootcher.

It's a serious non-threat.

I'm using it, and I feel better.

It's much better than BRAND-X.

Look at Judy, she was using BRAND-X.

Use Cocaineosol.

make that four

I just noticed this can of coca-cola classic sitting on the desk next to me. I picked it up and score! It was about 1/4 full. Flat coke is the best because it tastes like metal and drinking stuff that tastes like metal is just one step closer to being a robot.

not addicted

three posts in a row, woot

Anyway, tonight at dinner my dad hands me this article on video game addiction. I was all like, "I'm not addicted, I can stop any time I want." That was pretty much the end of it right there, but then I realized I hadn't played anything since I'd been home and for some reason my back started itching and I felt like I needed to be in the basement real bad.

But the point is: not addicted.

is not like the others

can you guess which one?

More at Uncle Tibor's House of Fun

Jack: So juls met mel last night.
Ben: what's the verdict?
Jack: She said some dorky, awkward things.
Jack: God I adore her.
Ben: awesome
Ben: you're obviously keeping at it, so just keep doing that
Jack: Heidi got a pizza, and we went for the same slice.
Ben: did you yell at her?
Ben: because that's the wrong choice
Jack: Well, I took the piece, and mel said that was the one she was going to take.
Ben: did you spit on it?
Ben: because then she won't take it.
Jack: No. But I did steal her windex while she was trying to clean the scanner, and ran into the girls bathroom with it, laughing that she wouldn't be able to follow me.
Ben: good
Jack: She followed me.
Ben: that reminds me of my favorite birthday antic
Ben: it's a tradtion where I come from:
Ben: when you go out for birthday dinner, you continually pester your waiter / waitress that it's your birthday, and that they should bring out some cake. Then, when the singing comes, and oh how it always does, you jump up and down, fake crying, shouting "Who told? WHO TOLD?" as if it's the happiest surprise in the universe
Jack: Haha
Ben: one of my only traditions
Jack: That beats the hell out of menorahs.
Ben: perhaps
Ben: but if menorahs are about you get to pretend like you know everythign about Jew-ism (as it's called in the native Jew Tongue)
Ben: and you ask people to do things
Ben: like "Could you punch me in the gut?
It's Rashasashashahsa."
Jack: We have people punch us on yom
kippur, ben.
Ben: yes, the Yom Supper
Jack: Where we pray to jesus for revenge.
Ben: when Jesus did berate all the mortals for needing food and water
Ben: he's like "GODDAMNIT HERE HAVE MY GODDAMN MANFLASH I DON'T NEED IT.... I'M IMMORTAL."
Ben: and Dick Cheney was like "FUCK YES. IT LOOKS LIKE MEAT IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS."
Ben: and his cronies were like "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

Let's watch as Ben tries to make a stand against his job.

At first I was in a "dysfunctional family" movie with john goodman, and my dad was there, and he drugged me so I couldn't drive, and twice I was vomiting like crazy (one of the times it was bright orange), and after I got drugged I turned into Barret Wallace, except a PS2 version of him, and I looked really closely at his/my texture for a while and noticed that he was carrying around a CDX. I started out on an airship, and then I flew down to the beach, where there were reggae dudes singing to everyone about how great everything was, and how they should buy these tiny-sized bottles of drinks that were stuck in the sand. Then I got attacked and stuff went into panzer dragon saga combat mode, and I got killed by these terrible mantis men who were so fast that my attacks couldn't hit them. They killed me before I could switch to my spiritual Barret form and use berserk attacks on them. My final thoughts before I died were on how marvelously the Saturn was rendering their snarling faces.

It's probably still just a rumor at this point, but I heard that John Woo might be directing an upcoming He-Man movie. Just thinking of the possibilities gives me a huge B=====D.

Like a giant 7-foot skeletor (played by Peter Weller) with huge fistcocks shooting lightning bolts at He-Man ("The Rock"), who does a leap-spin-dive as he throws his sword at skeletor's mouth, who snuffs it.

Then there'd be a giant 1000-DDDD cup Teela who does nothing but shoot babies out of her dudehole. She should be played by Lindsay Lohan, cause I guess the kids will want to see this movie, too, and Lohan seems to be pretty popular these days.

Or Orko (Erik McCulley), who's a mystical ninja-mage from the past who's figured out a way to time travel in order to party.

Or Man-At-Arms (Kurtwood Smith), who's really just a drunken wife-beater that keeps making horrible passes at the Sorceress.

And the Sorceress, who's really just a coked-up transvestite trying to get enough money to finish 'her' operation, should be played by Val Kilmer.

Did anyone check out the site that Cheney quoted last night in a rebuttal to some facts that Edwards dropped on dat assssss?

Quothe Cheney: "They know that if you go, for example, to factcheck.com, an independent Web site sponsored by the University of Pennsylvania, you can get the specific details with respect to Halliburton."

PWNT.

Note the re-direct. Cheney obviously meant this site (NSFW), but YARIGHT KTHX.

Once again, Ben's sources are incorrect.

FACT:

FACT 1: LADY LIKES BLACK B====D
FACT 2: EDWARDS LIKES TO JERK IT
FACT 3: CHENY IS SAD BECEAUSE HE IS LEFT OUT

FACTS

It's what science is made of.

An image of Dick Cheney and John Edwards from the senate floor, despite only meeting tonight at the debate. Strange.

This is how it really happened.

It's like watching really good boxers beating this shit out of each other until they both have broken faces.

However, this is my prediction of how things will look afterwards.

New contest! Everybody needs to make housewarming presents for the new pos server.

POS WANTS TO ROLL UP INTERMENADS.

So it's day 2 in Madden Land and all is well. I don't have Internet access other than work, so I didn't want to get busted on my first day reading some post about an abortion baby or something. So I figure on day 2 everything is cool.

They're real hardcore about the keeping their data secure. They have goons that will knock on your cubicle if they detect a USB drive on your computer. None of my junk worked on day one, nor did I have a phone, so they made me play the game I'm going to be working on.

So apparently I'll be working on NCAA 2006 for the PSP. It's pretty much Madden dumbed down because theres tons mor college teams, and even more dumbed down for the PSP. We haven't gotten the exact specs yet, so we can't begin on the PSP part, so me and this other UI dude have been making redesigns of the old NCAA because we just got started on it. So right off the bat this junk is pretty sweet because they're giving me all kinds of creative freedom.

We just moved down the street, so I don't even have my cubicle yet, but they had an example cubicle to show us what they're gonna look like, and they're pretty exciting. Dual flat screens with those swing arm things.

But thats not even the best part. The best part is that my manager is totally a nerf gun fanatic. Even better, everyone else is too. I've spent the entire day listening to my coworkers pumping up rapid fire Nerf guns, programmers planning ambushes on the art peeps, and ever so popular "OOOOOOOOOH" as some dude who is trying to do his work gets jacked in the eye. Those are the best.

Then there's the dudes who challenge each other to chair races (with the lack of cubicles there is a lot of room to roll), and the free cereal.

My apartment is pretty sweet, but I haven't had time to make it all pretty, but as soon as I do I'll take pictures. Other than that things are going well. I'm not surrounded by idiots who I bitch about. I'm like in a huge Snr. Leb, except I don't really know anyone. My orientation "buddy" actually went to Full Sail, and I think its odd that we ended up with the same job. Awesome. I'm gonna go home now.

As my first act of return here at the Internet Mines, I've opened a cafepress store.

Here's a glimpse of things to come.

I'm currently migrating over from our old server. Long live the POS!

UPDATE: Huzzah! She is completed! Let me know if you guys have any problems.

It seems that pos has been a little 'under the weather' lately. Things will change in January, and probably sooner so that I can keep shovelling content to people other than myself.

I'm looking into alternate hosting right now, and it might not be long before pos changes its address (were I to drop bburbank.com altogether) or at the very least changes its DNS server and hosting package. I just don't have the extra scratch to cover it until the end of the month.

For now, I'd like to bring everybody WAY BACK and go over the pos origin story. 4 or 5 years ago now there was this site called "Death By Exposure" that Chris and myself, along with Brian Campbell got together and made. It was a pretty sweet deal, except we'd only post content every few days, and at the time that was a death sentence. Not to mention the fact that we were limitting our post content to media reviews, which meant that we had to actually obtain new media and, well, review it.

Fast forward to this past January. Juls and I both had portfolio websites that allowed us to add on a pre-made forum script. He set one up, and then I followed shortly after, trying to make up for recently being kicked off of the Penny-Arcade forums. Here is an excerpt off of Juls' forum, on which I was a moderator and also on which Juls would censor out some parts of speech and prepositions for no reason at all:

Here's another one:

Anyway, after our innevitable forum war, I decided that it would be pretty funny to set up a BOOOLLLAG, and I did just that. Thus was pos born. You'll note that the forum war came up only once (that I can recall), and it was actually a reference to the potential of a blog war whose seeds had been sewn during the great Forum War. You can view it here. After a rough start pos ended up winning 'BEST WEBSITE ONLINE 2004-2010' a few months ago, and the rest has been a glamerous drunken bender.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JESS ALSO ON JESSBIRTHDAY?

HAPPY MADDENDAY JULS

I was cleaning out my HD in preparation for a re-install of WinXP this morning when I found this.

Good times...good times.

that was a rough one. make note... 120+ mile an hour winds attacking your house sound like me peeing myself.

p.s. "hurricanes are assholes."

Me: Oh no! Wileysnatch and Wileysnootch are in danger! Quick, get Cootara!
Buddy: What's a snootch?
Me: It's kind of like a snatch, only longer.

BlackBook update! More details when you log in.

(P.S. I somehow broke the member and contact images. They're still in the system, so don't fret. I'm working on it.)

[UPDATE: Images fixed. I'm a moron. You're welcome.]

I really have no idea.

My web host is bitching out on me, and alot of people aren't seeing pos or its admin section. This is lame.

If you see this post something funny, please, I'm dying here.

I haven't been able to view POS all week from my desktop at my office. I'm starting to go into withdrawl, like a heroin addict who's trying to work the junk out of his system.

I've actually SSH'd into another machine outside of my building and used Lynx, the protozoa from which all modern browsers have evolved, to write this post. It's sort of like going camping, only without the bears or your dad trying to feel you up in your sleeping bag.

So, until I say otherwise, nobody's allowed to post pictures during working hours (10am-6pm EST).

Fucking text browsers suck my dickbag.