Velocity Equals Position Over Time

Katamary Damacy-log (by request)

If any of you don't have this game yet you should either get it or tell me to get it for you.

I've gone over the basic premise of the game before, so I'll skip that for now. Let's talk about what happened in our adventure into KD land yesterday.

Well, first off, my universe sized father urinated rainbows onto the universe, creating all things, including dancing polar bears and fish tied to balloons. Then, apparently, my father spun himself through space and destroyed all the stars, later claiming that he was being so, so very naughty. Of course, his voice sounds like records scratching.

First thing he did was put me in a yellow room with a ball, and make me play with it. My father, the universe-man, had made this room with planets and stars hanging from the ceiling. He was peeking in on me throuhg a hole in the ceiling. Then things got crazy. He filled the earth with 'things' and then commanded me to steal them all, saying that people would probably help me with a smile, or perchance a wave.

I blindly did his bidding, snatching up playing cards and legos and tree frogs and birds, until he was pleased.

Soon, I was given the task of recreating the Constellation "Cancer," and to do this I was placed inside a crab filled world. I picked up squirt guns, and crabs, and crabs pointing squirt guns at each other among other things, and he was very pleased with my performance.

UPDATE: By the way, whenever my father asks me to come visit him, he barfs up a rainbow for me to ride through space.

Posted by Ben at September 26, 2004 10:58 AM